We’re in a bad place with sleep. We dropped the crib wall, Aria started sprouting two year molars, new emotional connections formed, and we even suffered a few nosebleeds from chronic nose…you know.
First she wanted even closer contact before falling asleep. She wanted to lie on daddy’s stomach or hold my head like a teddy bear.
Then she’d have intense meltdown with each attempt at leaving the room. She started anticipating with terror our exodus and would take even longer and react even more extremely.
We tried just closing her in her room.
She beat the handle cover with such ferocity it split in two.
She carried to two pieces put to the hall and offered them up to me as a warning.
We had to put a baby gate mid hall as another line of defense.
We’d get through it. We would. We’d get her to sleep. An hour or longer it might take.
Then it would happen all over again. At 2am.
I gave up.
DH gave up.
On separate nights.
We brought her to bed.
And made the problem worse.
Temper tantrums started flaring day and middle of the night.
One night she woke up screaming, blood streaming down her face. It was everywhere. And she was terrified.
It took hours to calm her down. She wouldn’t even sleep in our bed. We had to go downstairs, wiping her nose every few minutes.
At least now we can easily quell the gold digging. Just mention nose bleed and she stops right away.
But that’s the easy challenge. Getting her back to sleeping through the night on her own? Feels like Mount Everest.
I’m attempting the slow extraction / acclimation method. I don’t know the name for it. I don’t know if it will work. It makes me tired thinking of all the steps.
The challenge with culture resets is you’re tired when they start. It’s because you’re tired that you finally relent and decide a change must happen.
I started last week beside her bed, but no handholding (I miss it, I admit. It was my favorite part of the day after I finished weaning Aria. Call this a second weaning for both of us. The draw to be near each other never went away.)
Then three nights ago I sat so my feet touch her bed, then moved in the same night across the room.
These tactics worked for initial sleep, but within two or three hours she was begging to sleep with me and DH again.
So Aria’s asleep. She’s over there. She was not thrilled with us on opposite sides of her bedroom. I’ve had to move her back four times now since 8pm. It’s almost 3am.
I went downstairs at one point without waiting for her to be fully asleep. She broke out of her room and melted into an extreme panic attack behind the gate in the hallway.
I feel like such a crutch.
But she’s over there and I’m over here at least. Even though I’d much, much rather be cuddled together in my bed. She needs to learn how to manage alone when I’m around. It feeds into everything beyond the night.
Tomorrow, I’ll station myself at the door instead of 3 feet away.
Then in the hall.
Then in my own room.
I don’t know if it will work.
And I’m kinda tired.
I don’t know if it’s the right way or the best way or the fastest way. But with no wall on the crib I’m just not sure what else to do. How to teach her to be okay by herself. How to truly wean.
Like I said. We’re in a bad place with sleep. We had a beautiful year of her sleeping through the night in her own room.
Then she turned two…
Duh dun duuuuuh!