And again

I don’t even know what to do. She slept for an hour and a half after my last post, then woke up crying again. I’m really exhausted. That’s always the part critics on the sidelines aren’t experiencing. 

I couldn’t sleep after the 4am tanrum. I often can’t. I was almost there. The curtain was falling. 

And now. And again. 

Oh wait. 

This is when she normally wakes up. Do I go in and rock her or let her cry? Do we start the day? I really wouldn’t mind a little extra sleep. 

I’m not really asking anyone the question. I’m already holding her. She still seems tired. But maybe we just go do breakfast like usual. 

If I sit down or lie down, she screams. If I stand here in a daze, she relaxes. 

Parenting is so hard.

Solo parenting is so much harder. 

You’re left with a half a brain. That’s it. 

And then you just get right back to it. You walk downstairs and pour the bowl of cereal. Because no one else is going to do it. 


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