I realized today that the best moments of the past year and a half have been the moments where I didn’t rush time with the ones I love.
Right now I have to wake up in the middle of the night on the weekend to see my husband’s face and hear his deep, soothing voice. It could be easy to rush it, to insist on sleep. But the nights when I just savor the flavors of a rich conversation, I feel deeply renewed and healed from the loneliness of a week without my confidant and partner in all things.
Sunday night, when I could have spent hours pouring over the tasks ahead for the week, I spent and hour and a half talking to my best friend. She is lovingly called “PraRa” by Aria, who adopted her name as the fifth word she would consistently use. We talked about life and husbands and Aria and education policy. She listened to my challenges in navigating some changes at work and advised me with patience and wisdom. Friendship, like partnership, is best left unrushed.
Last night, after a long, thirteen hour day of work + commute, I could’ve just gone straight to bed. My dad was there watching Aria for me like he does most Tuesday’s. He probably should’ve gone straight home. He was wiped. But I had a kitchen I’d gotten in the mail for Aria. And my dad was there. How could we not build it together? Dad and me. Building together. It was like being a kid.
For three and a half hours!
I watched her play for longer than I’d planned. Though I felt late, I was still the first one into the office in the morning.
And then a simple, but perfect evening with Aria, which is what actually inspired this post. While Aria is a little person with her own little agenda, and often in her own little toddler world, it could be easy to see time with her as more of a referee than a relationship.
Tonight, instead of rushing home, we just took a long walk and then ate dinner together at the grocery store. We giggled as we passed a be a piece of paper back and forth with our teeth. I enjoyed her revelling in her teriyaki tofu as we did laps around the grocery in one of those race car hybrid shopping carts. By the time we got back to the car, it was well past bedtime. Instead of rushing home, we sat under the last rays of the sun on a grassy hill.
As we say there, I noticed how she has this layer of hair that’s almost 2 inches long. It sits on top of the rest of her hair. The funny thing is this top layer rustles in the wind and the rest sort of stays close to her head. It’s just adorable and awkward and Aria.
And then I realized I had not thought about work since I got the Aria’s daycare. I hadn’t really thought about anything. I’d just lived in the moment.
I spent a lot of time last week fretting over work and not a lot of time being successful at it. This week I spent a lot of time not rushing time with my loved ones.
I feel so much happier this week. Even with the stuff at work I’m less excited about.
The best moments are the moments unrushed with the ones we love.
And the best moments are like taking your life from inside a dark and dank building and into the sunshine. They bring light into everything in your life.