Two weeks into deployment and my game face looks like a tired face…

So I tried to go cold turkey on Aria with the bottle this weekend and I think at the end of three days to show for it is a hungry, dehydrated baby. 

I thought I’d won again. Really. After a full Saturday of refusal, I switched to mango milk and yogurt smoothies in a cup to entice her. I coaxed her by feeding her with a spoon from the cup. Eventually she drank. By morning she was gulping down a 4-oz glass of plain yogurt, milk, and ice. From a regular cup. 

Triumph. 

Nope. 

She barely drank anything at school. And she seemed so hungry by nightfall. Her eyes were noticeably dry and red. I neede to get fluids in her and a bottle was the only way.  She refused anything in a cup. Even a peach smoothie. 

After a banana and a bottle of milk, she was fed, but still emotional, from her hungry wails the entire drive home from school. 

She cried for two minutes and fell asleep in her crib. 

I’m exhausted. And I have a small mountain of work I feel completely unable to tackle. I’m so very tired. I need to prep for a meeting in the morning. 

Two weeks plus into deployment and I feel like I’ve run a marathon without a single moment’s respite. 

And I’m only on the first mile of the marathon. 

It’s not just the caring for Aria or the cooking and cleaning and pick up and drop off. 

It’s the emotional weight of all the big and little decisions you have to make hour by hour, day by day, to smoothly transition with my child from infant to toddler. 

Everything feels so heavy right now. Work is kind of the same — taking our program from infant start-up turnaround program to refined, branded academic program. 

So many decisions. So much weight. 

So wonderful and empowering. 

So much possibility. 

So much beauty watching my schools and Aria blossom and grow. 

So exhausted. 

So in need of an emotional and physical break. 

Only five and a half more months of deployment to go…

  

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2 thoughts on “Two weeks into deployment and my game face looks like a tired face…

  1. Now you know what single working mothers feel like but they have longer then 5 months. Aria is fine don’t let her work you with the food. If she is hungry she will eat. Relax and enjoy.

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  2. I tell you, just when you feel you have figured Aria out, she’ll change! Just keep trying. I’m so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed right now. Just remember, you can’t do it all, all the time. You can only do your best. Hugs from Texas.

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